Cereal Killer Cafe Is Making A Killing!

Date Published 19 January 2015

Last month a one-in-a-million establishment was unveiled on Brick Lane where customers can commit the slanderous crime of spending their hard-earned cash on . . . breakfast cereal. A pair of identical twins had the realisation that breakfast cereal was what was missing from our simply over-crowded coffee shops, so they made it their business to supply the `most nutritious meal of the day` to sweet-toothed Londoners. Contrary to belief, the cafe has been such a hit that there are talks of a second store being opened in the near future. Surely London is losing the plot?

Stepping away from the snobbish promises of ‘free-range` and ‘all-organic` that most unique cafes and coffee shops strive to offer, the Cereal Killer serves up nothing but cereal. For the stiff price of £2.50 you can feast on a bowl of such nostalgic classics like Rice Krispies, Golden Nuggets or Frosties (who even drinks a chai latte anyway?) and wash it down with a `cereal cocktail`: a sugary concoction of chocolate milk with marshmallows and Oreo pieces.

Cereal Killer is the first cafe of its kind in the capital, but that could all be set to change with the announcement from the twins that they are considering opening a new store at a new location. ‘We are currently looking for a new property as we do want to expand and have also had interest for franchise opportunities from every corner of the globe, which is something else we are looking into at the minute. Also, we are meeting with publishers this week to release a cookbook in the next six months!`

This `expansion` surely leaves us questioning our sanity, more so the sanity of the cafes regulars. Is this just part of a revolution against mega-money, global corporations selling coffee in polystyrene cups with a green mermaid on it? Or will we be taking fifteen minute `cereal breaks` in the office in the near future?